Saturday, September 17, 2011

A good question for women considering becoming an escort

This is the second question I felt worthy of cross-posting over here since I am deleting that Q & A Tumblr account. It was asked by a woman who was considering becoming an escort.

Q. Any tips for a woman looking to become an escort?

My response
Ask yourself why you want to be an escort. There’s not really one right reason, but there are many wrong ones. Any girl can be a streetwalker or place an ad on a cheap website and go meet any guy who calls them, but that is extremely dangerous. Be discriminating and have them come to you. You have to be smart about it and accountable to yourself. You need to ask yourself a few questions.

Do you just want to make easy money? Because it isn’t easy. And I don’t know where you live, but the going rate for most cities in the US is between $175 to $350 per hour. You might get tips, but you can’t count on it. You are responsible for paying for the hotel room, supplies, food, gas, etc. and if you’re screening your clients properly, you’ll only get two or three per day.

Do you just like having a lot of sex? Because you are mostly fulfilling fantasies. Their fantasies, not your own. Your job is to satisfy the client. If you are satisfied in the process, that’s great, but it’s not to be expected. Also, you won’t be attracted to most of your clients.

Are you financially responsible? You will need to manage a separate business account and make sure you always have funds for supplies, your cellphone bill, your ads, and you will need a credit card to book your hotel rooms with. Nice hotel rooms. When I say nice, I am not talking about the Super 8. I mean, allow $100 to $150 a day for hotel, or you will not attract the type of clients you want to have.

Do you use or abuse any type of mind-altering drugs? Don’t be an escort. You need to have a clear, sharp mind to make the best decisions for yourself. In addition to verifying the identity of your clients, you need your gut instinct and intuition to be intact.

MOST IMPORTANT! Are you capable of setting standards for yourself that protect your physical and psychological well-being and enforcing those standards and boundaries even in the face of temptation and desperation? If not, you have no business being an escort. It is too dangerous to you. No amount of money is worth you being hurt in any way, shape, or form.

As far as specific advice: 1)Go see an attorney who can familiarize you with the law and advise you on how to protect yourself. For example, where I live the only two things that are illegal pertaining to me are solicitation for prostitution and practicing massage without a license. I never agree to have sex for money or discuss what they are getting for their money. I tell them they are getting an hour of my time. If they persist with their questions or insist that I tell them specifically what they are getting for the money, I won’t take the appointment. If they are already in my room, I show them the door. And instead of offering a massage, I offer a “non-therapeutic full body rub.” The hour I spent with an attorney was the smartest $75 I ever spent. Go back twice a year to make sure there haven’t been any changes in the law. 2)Be independent. Don’t let anybody else decide who you see, where you work, when you work, how you dress, nothing. You are your own boss. You are accountable to no one but yourself – do this and you will be accountable to the people who deserve it by default. 3)Safety first. Money comes and goes. There is way more to gain or lose in this world than money. In fact, money is the easiest thing to recover from. Safety first!

Audio of me talking about a funny client I had

Neal made a short of one of our funniest conversations a while back and I forgot to share it with you.

A good question for men considering hiring an escort for the first time

I had a Tumblr account for a while in which people were allowed to ask me questions, anonymously, and I would answer them periodically. I am closing that account though due to lack of time and also a lack of mean people being able to keep their meanness to themselves. Why do people feel like it's perfectly okay to say ugly things to a woman simply because she is a sex worker? All people deserve a basic level of respect simply because they are a human being, regardless of whether or not you agree with their lifestyle or think they are moral. But I digress... the purpose of this post is to share a good question that someone asked. I thought it would be helpful for men considering seeing an escort for the first time, or even men who have seen someone before but didn't have such a swell experience.

Q.Hello Tae, first I would like to tell you that I really enjoy reading you blog. I would like to know if you have any advice or any tips for someone who is looking to see an escort for the first time?

My response

Yes, absolutely. Please be careful. Make sure she can provide you with reviews, and don’t see anybody that doesn’t want to screen you or doesn’t provide at least one full hour of service. Confirm that she is drug and alcohol free. You want to see someone who is health and safety conscious and very discreet. So, if her advertisement is sexually explicit, beware. If you answer an ad like that, you have just as good as agreed to pay for sex and you could be walking into a trap.

Not all escorts enjoy their job and there are some girls who are on drugs and will rob you or try to rush you out the door quickly, so the reviews and how she presents herself in her ad is very important. Stay away from the girls that portray themselves as, for lack of a better word, skanks. seems to be a pretty good site because you have access to ads without having to be first verified and confirmed as legitimate. Once you find the lady you would like to see, she will then require either a reference or two or that your identity be confirmed through your phone listing or employment. Ask for her reviews first, then cooperate with her through your screening process. She wants you as a client and is NOT out to get you. She’s just trying to protect herself.

Don’t ask a bunch of sexual questions over the telephone. Just trust that you are going to be happy with her services. The more comfortable she is with you, the more she will offer you once you meet in person. You start asking questions that could be used to entrap her, be prepared to get the blanket statement “you’re paying for an hour of my time, sir.” So, just be easy-going, don’t haggle over the donation, lay the money down without discussion as soon as you meet, and you should have an enjoyable time.

Let me know if you do it and how it goes. :)